House of Darkness (2022), A Long Wait For A Very Brief Payoff

It’s hard to imagine a film with a runtime of just 88 minutes feeling overly long, but House of Darkness (2022) pulls it off. The difficult part is that, beyond some poor pacing, there’s not a lot ostensibly wrong with the film. Writer/director Neil Lebute definitely creates tension, anxiety, and anticipation, but the conclusion is so rushed and predictable that it barely justifies the wait. 

House of Darkness begins as an unnamed man (Justin Long) arrives at an old, spooky estate with an unnamed woman (Kate Bosworth). The two have had a night out drinking together, and the woman invites the man inside her palatial home to continue the festivities. We eventually learn that the man’s name is Hap and the woman’s name is Mina. Hap shifts awkwardly between goofy flirting and unbearable machismo. His behavior can be partially explained away by Mina’s seemingly impenetrable personality. She is blunt to the point of being rude, while also showing an insatiable desire to sleep with Hap.

Naturally, there’s more to Mina than meets the eye. Throughout the evening, Hap is plagued by the fear that someone else is in the dark, old manor, lurking behind every corner. While she never explicitly says otherwise, Mina assures Hap that there is nothing to worry about. As the night goes on, Hap gets increasingly drunk. Just when it seems that Mina and Hap will have sex, they are interrupted by another beautiful woman, and not long after, a third beautiful woman. The three “sisters” continue to play games with Hap, becoming increasingly creepy and aggressive toward him. 

Since the film is loosely based on the works of Bram Stoker, one can easily see where the story is going. Still, I won’t spoil the ending here. It is particularly important not to spoil the ending of House of Darkness because the finale is so incredibly short compared to the build-up. You have to wait for a very long time to get that classic, gory, horror movie payoff, and it’s so incredibly short and predictable that it’s difficult to justify sitting through the whole film.

In defense of Neil Lebute, House of Darkness is billed as a horror comedy, and it definitely maintains a jet-black sense of humor throughout. However, there’s nothing all that funny about the film. Justin Long stumbles through a strange and awkward night, and given how obvious it is that he won’t like how things turn out, watching him squirm is equal parts enjoyable and distressing. But to call it a “comedy” feels like a stretch.

From a conceptual standpoint, House of Darkness doesn’t venture into new territory. It plays with various established themes and horror motifs, including the rape-revenge subplot and the quintessential “maneater.” Despite being unsurprising, the first 75 minutes or so work pretty well. You feel the build-up as Hap moves closer to his fate and we (the viewers) move closer to understanding exactly what is going on. But again, the ending is so incredibly brief that it feels like the only real joke in the entire film has been played on the audience. 

If you happen to have the patience of a saint, you might get through House of Darkness without feeling any frustration. After all, it’s only 88 minutes long. You won’t have to sit through three hours of awkward, drunken banter. I, unfortunately, am no saint. To me, the film certainly felt like it was three hours long. Neil Lebute drags out a pretty straightforward plot that probably would have been better as a short film. That said, House of Darkness is certainly not a bad film — it just could have done with a lot less exposition and a better climactic payoff. 

House of Darkness Movie Rating: ★★★ out of 5

If you’d like to watch House of Darkness (2022), the film is currently available on Amazon or Hulu. For more film reviews like this one, be sure to check out the Philosophy in Film homepage!